Jasmine Hart

Hi Stella, This is a lovely piece. It flows well and is very effective. I like the snatch of dialogue. I think that the others have caught the few little ...

Hi, I really love this, especially the ending. It flows well and the rhyme is very effective and never forced. I'd change; "How was it able to carry you? Your ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. I feel that the first two words were a little bland.I'd try something more descriptive/specific. I know "into" is to fit the meter, but I ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. Your imagery is beautiful. I really loved; "Listening to my insides fight A cacoon that slowly collapses Leaving me little ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I think this flows smoothly and is easy to read. You stick to the strict rhyming scheme very well and ...

Hi, I think this works very well as an "I Am" poem. I think it gives a good sense of the different fragments that make up the speaker, and I ...

Hi, Congrats on your first poem! I really enjoyed it and hope to read more of you. The first line is really gripping and really draws the reader in. I'd ...

Hi, I think that the rhyming scheme works really well. I think that the first stanza is a bit weak.I'd cut "reminds me of you" "feel in our bones, we ...

Hi Via, I really enjoyed this. I'd put "have" before the first "gone by". I love the little images you use like the coin holder.I really love; "One dances a ...

Hi, The anger in this poem comes across strongly and it flows nicely. I think I'd try to make it more visual rather than internalizing it- maybe describe looking at ...

Hi, I thought that this was beautifully written.I love your imagery and use of language, and this flows well. I especially enjoyed; "Four walls and forty empty voices who will ...

Hi, Welcome to Yws! I hope you like it here. I like the central image here. I especially liked; "Painted so beautifully Of dark concrete With shiny yellow paint", as ...

Hi Jayden, Welcome to Yws! I thought that this was really lovely. The central image was strong and it ended nicely. After "like the night" and "like the stream" I'd ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS. I hope you like it here. I love your use of rhyme and how the story unfolds. This is a great idea and you express it ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this! I thought the rhythm was completely captivating, and that the rhyme was very effective. The poem as a whole flowed beautifully. I'd change the semi-colon ...